LOVE AND SEX (THE LOVE RACE 2)

Love and Sex do you think they go together? This was a question posed to my readers in one of my publications. To some of the readers of my bulletin, they believe that they walk hand in hand and yet to others they say that they are two different ball games. Well in this post I will try to face the facts and the truths that surround this matter squarely, based on my finding and personal discoveries and experience. You are very much welcome to this roller coaster ride called THE LOVE RACE 2.

           

I will try to be very brief in what I am about to write, but I will be glad if you will keep what you will get from it very well in your memory.

           

Love & sex do not go together when people are not yet married. Love & Sex are two separate issues when people are still singles. Love & sex can’t be separated when people are married. Love & Sex become one word when couple has said the words “I do,” “till death do us part.”

           

Sexual intercourse is sacred and it is reserved only for married couples. Sex between married couple is fulfilling God’s divine plan and purpose for marital companionship. Sex in marriage is a way of living within the marriage circle. It is an everlasting obligation and not a sign of love. It is not a proof that you love your spouse. God designed sexual intercourse just for the two people who are duly married. Sexual satisfaction has nothing to do with two people who have not taken the oath or marital vow. If by omission or commission someone marries who he/she does not love he/she have to stick to him/her, until death comes in between to separate them. And if you are married to someone who because of sickness, age or accident lost his/her sexual potency...the bitter truth is that you must stick to him/her, and never to seek sexual satisfaction outside your matrimonial home. If you do seek it outside your home then you have committed the sin of adultery. The sin of adultery is a punishable offence.

           

Some people may be shocked to learn that sexual intercourse was God’s idea. He wove the sexual dimension of our personality into the very fibre of our beings. We are sexual beings in every way. Sexual attraction is no accident. God made a helpmeet for Adam in His lonely state long before there was ever any mention of procreation (Genesis 2:18, 20-23). Marital companionship and sexual union were all God’s plan when He created humans. God did it that way to end man’s isolation with incredible joy. Don’t forget that this is for those who are legally married and not for live-in lovers.

The word Love & Sex always get mixed up in the life of unmarried couple. Honey, listen to me: you don’t have to prove to a man that you love him by giving in to his sexual advances. Many ladies and girls (single) out there believe that they can only make the men in their lives see the proof of their love by giving him sex. Sexual compatibility is never a sign of strong love between you and your “Date.” I discovered that the major reason why some relationships that looked so good got broken is because of pre-marital sex. It has been over said and over written “you can’t trap a man down with sex.”

God, morality and even religion is against pre-marital sex. But our dress codes, Romance novels, Music Videos, Hollywood & Nollywood films seem to be promoting and encouraging it with reckless abandon. I think every parent should be careful with the content of the book, music video, or movies his/her children/wards are occupying their spare times with.

           

Let me say this especially to unmarried girls and round up this topic. What many girls do not know is that most guys are experimenting with each relationship they get involved in. Baby believe me, I am very sorry for you if you are having sex with the guy you are moving with right now because to some of you that is the greatest mistake you have ever made.

           

Before you call me a bluff; don’t forget that I am a guy, and I was never born an angel. Now what if that guy in your life is experimenting? What if he thinks that you are no more good enough for him? What pride do you have left? You know you can’t compete with a man when it comes to that because (1) a man is not bonded to a woman because of sexual intercourse, (2) a man does not respond to a woman’s sexual desire because of Love but because of pride (e.g. He’ll say, if I don’t do it with her another guy will do it with her or if I don’t do it with her she will call me a “mugu”). (3) no amount of sexual commitment you give to a guy will make him love you more than he already does (i.e. if he loves you at all), and finally (4) a man does not come back to you after having sex with you because he loves you, he comes back to you because you are now a prey or (one of) his conquest.

I will be a liar to say that all guys will leave the girl they have had sex with. Not all guys do that. A guy who really loves his girl will stick to her even if they are having sex every day. Again it is not all guys who ask you for sex have bad intention in their heart. Some asks for sex because (1) that is what he feels, and just wants to bond with you. He wants to bond with you sexually so that he wouldn’t fall for another girl. (2) Some want to have sex with you because he can see through your eyes that you really need it. He doesn’t want to starve you of the satisfaction that comes with sexual intercourse. He doesn’t want to hurt you.

There are some guys who will really shower you love and affection even after making love to you. There are some guys who will always be there for you after having tasted your sweetness. There are some guys who will never let you go or even hurt you after you have gone all the way with them. There are girls today that are married to the guys that were their boyfriend for a very long time, and they were having sex as many times as they want: and right now they are enjoying their marriage. So I cannot tell you that if you have sex with a man he must hate you. It is not absolute truth. Even some people reading this write up have and are enjoying their relationship with their sex partner. However, the chances of meeting this “good guy” is so slim. It is about 3%. This is the reason why we have so many people crying and heaping abusive words on ‘love’ than those who actually talk good of ‘love.’ This is the singular reason why we have more girls with a “my heart was broken” record than those without it.

One thing is that sex is an avoidable activity in a marriage world. One sign of maturity is “self control.” Don’t get involved because all your friends are already in it. Most of your friends that are in it are hiding their exact relationship estate. Some of your friends and people around you that are into sexual relationship want you to see the sugar coated part of it so that you will come in and have a taste of the bitter side of it.

Don’t forget this… having sex does not make you a big boy or a big girl. The truth is that in most cases it makes you a weeping girl or a fearing guy. It leaves you with red eyes, hurting heart and painful stories that comes after a heart break. Most times it leaves agony instead honey in your life’s LOVE RACE.

Finally, love and sex are not brothers and sisters. You can love without getting involved sexually and you can also have sex with a person without even thinking about love. If you doubt me ask those who have at one time or the other get involved in what is called “one night stand” or ask those who visit prostitutes. What of those who get you a job or do you some favour by sleeping with you. You can truly love without ever thinking sex. And you can be sexually compatible without ever been in love. Having sex is not a sin but having sex outside marriage is a huge sin before God and human beings.

If you have made this mistake you can stop it right now. Don’t tell me you can’t, Baby you can. If you don’t know how, seek counseling from someone who can give you good counsel (Proverbs 11:14).

Friends don’t ever think that sexual intercourse is a sign of love… see you next week… I love you still

           

FOLLOW ME ON A LOVE RACE

What do you think about “Love”? Or should I say what about the common experience people call “Love”? Is love combination of what looks good to the eye and makes the heart race? Doesn’t everyone experience the same euphoric feelings when they (fall) are in love? The first time you (you think) are in love how great was (is) your feelings? Oh!, I know that I may probably be reminding you about the first time you (fall) are in love. Your heart skipped whenever he/she was around or whenever you heard (hear) his/her voice. Anytime you perceive the aroma of his/her perfume that butterfly feelings makes your head to swell. Oh! What-sha-ma-I-say? Sometimes Sirnoel can be a little controversial. Please just follow me as I flow…

           

Friend if physical reactions accurately define love; why are there so many divorces today? Sky-high divorce rate and brake up in relationships strongly indicates there must be more to love than natural short-lived emotional reactions. People have kept on failings in and out of love. Why? Because they have never really told “themselves” the truth. From my teen age I have always hated the word “Fall-in-love.” I discovered that people who always fall in love never take time before they fall-out-of love again.

           

I am very frustrated with the abuse heaped on the word “Love”. It is manipulated by the media (movies, soft sale magazines, Books on fictions) and use sloppily by nearly everyone else. Well I am not a follower of Cupid (Roman god of love) but I want to try in my own best way to set the record straight. (Someone would ask which record?) Funny Sirnoel…lol

           

Most “Lovers” have the chemistry thing working for them but they seldom remain together long enough to explore more into each others life. It would interest you to note here that I didn’t try to define love. I think I should live that for another day. Though I didn’t define love here as you already know, however, let me tell you the things love does and what love won’t do. Please remember that there’s nothing like TRUE LOVE or FALSE LOVE. Love is Love. (Anyway this is my own opinion, you can argue it; so don’t swallow it hook, line and sinker).

Before I round up this piece, you have to know that: (1) Love does not and can’t hurt. It is lack of love that hurts. (2) Love cannot be used to manipulate, if one person is manipulating another, then that’s lack of love. (3) People do not stay in abusive relationship because of love. They stay because they are scared, they believe they don’t have options or they have low self-esteem. (4) The power of love is always giving, expansive, joyful and creative. It is impossible to twist love into a negative purpose. Romans 13:10 says “Love does no harm to a neighbor.”

Therefore, don’t blame love for the problems you are having in your relationships (Marriage & Courtship).

The root of our (human) problems, all of our problem is lack of love. You may hardily believe this, but it is true. War is not about territory or resources or power or control, but war is of fear, and fear is a product of lack of love. My good friend, build your love, stray out of the line of fear and manipulation. Well...

Wait for me next week as we run a LOVE RACE.