BALANCING GENDER EQUALITY

Gender is our legal status as men & women or boys or girls. Being a man or woman is determined by our sex organs. Also by our behaviors and characteristics.

Our shape and body build up contribute also to our gender. Therefore it becomes a funny thing when a man or a woman tries to look like a woman. God who made us with our looks and shapes was not sleeping and didn’t make us man or woman by mistake. God knew so well what we would look like before giving us our shapes.

God gave men broad shoulders with muscle while he gave women breast and hips. The reason why God gave men broad shoulders, strong arms and muscles is not for men to use it to subdue women. Beat them up, rape them or force them into sexual relationship. Men are created with strong arms because they need to work to provide for their wives and children. Men have muscles so that they can be able to protect women. Keep them safe in time of danger. Men are supposed to act as security for women.

One thing that has amazed for a long time is how male chimpanzee protects a female chimpanzee. Not just female chimpanzee, male chimpanzee also feels jealousy when he sees a human male walking hand in hand with a human female. Male chimpanzee sees himself as a guard and a protector of women. But unfortunately most human males are out there to destroy their female counterpart.

Now for women; God gave them breast, hips and the shape we call figure eight, not for them to use it to seduce men. Not for them to use it cause confusion in the society. I have heard it so many times when girls would be bragging; saying, “Immediately he saw my shape and looked at cleavage he became confused and did all that I asked him to do.” It is a pity when we miss use the free gift of nature.

God so much endowed Black women that their beauty is something to be proud of. The way God caved black ladies made them look outstanding. But using God’s endowment to seduce or to lead men astray is abuse of free gift of nature.

Girls are created by God and nature empowered them to be mothers. The breast on their chest is for feeding humans. Every woman is created a manager. Women are natural economists. God packaged women in a very unique way that even small girl children sometimes want to play mother and show care to even their older brothers and sisters.

With what I have written so far; you will discover that being a woman does not make you a prey to men. It only means that you have someone to look up to. Not as a lord but as a partner. You will also know that being a woman does not make an inferior creature. We all we come to understand that no gender is better or more important than the other one because we are created to complement each other. Just as Ndi Igbo will say “aka nri kwuo aka ekpe, aka ekpe akwuo aka nri.” Meaning “left hand washes the right hand and the right hand washes the left hand.” This is what God expect from us. With better understanding amongst men and women our world would be a much better place to live.

We have to understand that the role one plays as a man or a woman is in the society is determined by the society one found himself/herself in. Therefore, it is unfortunate that we that are here in Nigeria are trying to live like the Americans or Europeans. We tend to forget that every nation is unique. Every culture is unique and special. If you will permit me, I will tell you that why we are having so many problems in the family today in Africa is because we are borrowing the good, bad and the ugly cultures of the western world.

I am not saying that we should go back into dark ages. But we should know when to draw a line. The high level of divorce in America is caused by their weak marriage institution. Today in Africa we are joining them because women in Africa are trying so hard to become independent. Well God that created us (male & female) made us to be interdependent.

We have discarded the thing that made us a people. We discarded what made us special and we are trying so hard to borrow another man’s culture and behavior.  

Men are said to be the head while women are the neck all of us know that without the neck the head cannot turn. Therefore, as a man you must have to respect a woman. You have to give her, her right place in everything.

MALE & FEMALE is GOD’s idea therefore; there is no imperfection in either of them. I have some men call the women “devil, satan, useless creatures, I have also heard some women calling same.” Funny! God is the person that created both women and men and He saw that they are perfect after He created them.

As a man imagine a world without women. As a woman picture a world without men. Humn! A world where you have only men without women would be like an engine without engine oil. A world where you have only women would be like having a beautifully packaged engine oil without an engine to use it in.

For the world population to keep growing we need each other. Men cannot give birth neither can women become pregnant without men. Be wise in dealing with each other.

“So God created a man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.” Genesis 1:27

Men are not devils also women are not demons. Each of us are here to fulfill the purpose of God for creating each gender.

“And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” Genesis 1:31

Please lets us respect one another. No one is greater and no one is lesser. GOD BLESS YOU

ONUIGWE CHIDI SIRNOEL… From OCTOBER 2013 YOUTHS MATTER

BALANCING GENDER EQUALITY

Gender is our legal status as men & women or boys or girls. Being a man or woman is determined by our sex organs. Also by our behaviors and characteristics.

Our shape and body build up contribute also to our gender. Therefore it becomes a funny thing when a man or a woman tries to look like a woman. God who made us with our looks and shapes was not sleeping and didn’t make us man or woman by mistake. God knew so well what we would look like before giving us our shapes.

God gave men broad shoulders with muscle while he gave women breast and hips. The reason why God gave men broad shoulders, strong arms and muscles is not for men to use it to subdue women. Beat them up, rape them or force them into sexual relationship. Men are created with strong arms because they need to work to provide for their wives and children. Men have muscles so that they can be able to protect women. Keep them safe in time of danger. Men are supposed to act as security for women.

One thing that has amazed for a long time is how male chimpanzee protects a female chimpanzee. Not just female chimpanzee, male chimpanzee also feels jealousy when he sees a human male walking hand in hand with a human female. Male chimpanzee sees himself as a guard and a protector of women. But unfortunately most human males are out there to destroy their female counterpart.

Now for women; God gave them breast, hips and the shape we call figure eight, not for them to use it to seduce men. Not for them to use it cause confusion in the society. I have heard it so many times when girls would be bragging; saying, “Immediately he saw my shape and looked at cleavage he became confused and did all that I asked him to do.” It is a pity when we miss use the free gift of nature.

God so much endowed Black women that their beauty is something to be proud of. The way God caved black ladies made them look outstanding. But using God’s endowment to seduce or to lead men astray is abuse of free gift of nature.

Girls are created by God and nature empowered them to be mothers. The breast on their chest is for feeding humans. Every woman is created a manager. Women are natural economists. God packaged women in a very unique way that even small girl children sometimes want to play mother and show care to even their older brothers and sisters.

With what I have written so far; you will discover that being a woman does not make you a prey to men. It only means that you have someone to look up to. Not as a lord but as a partner. You will also know that being a woman does not make an inferior creature. We all we come to understand that no gender is better or more important than the other one because we are created to complement each other. Just as Ndi Igbo will say “aka nri kwuo aka ekpe, aka ekpe akwuo aka nri.” Meaning “left hand washes the right hand and the right hand washes the left hand.” This is what God expect from us. With better understanding amongst men and women our world would be a much better place to live.

We have to understand that the role one plays as a man or a woman is in the society is determined by the society one found himself/herself in. Therefore, it is unfortunate that we that are here in Nigeria are trying to live like the Americans or Europeans. We tend to forget that every nation is unique. Every culture is unique and special. If you will permit me, I will tell you that why we are having so many problems in the family today in Africa is because we are borrowing the good, bad and the ugly cultures of the western world.

I am not saying that we should go back into dark ages. But we should know when to draw a line. The high level of divorce in America is caused by their weak marriage institution. Today in Africa we are joining them because women in Africa are trying so hard to become independent. Well God that created us (male & female) made us to be interdependent.

We have discarded the thing that made us a people. We discarded what made us special and we are trying so hard to borrow another man’s culture and behavior.  

Men are said to be the head while women are the neck all of us know that without the neck the head cannot turn. Therefore, as a man you must have to respect a woman. You have to give her, her right place in everything.

MALE & FEMALE is GOD’s idea therefore; there is no imperfection in either of them. I have some men call the women “devil, satan, useless creatures, I have also heard some women calling same.” Funny! God is the person that created both women and men and He saw that they are perfect after He created them.

As a man imagine a world without women. As a woman picture a world without men. Humn! A world where you have only men without women would be like an engine without engine oil. A world where you have only women would be like having a beautifully packaged engine oil without an engine to use it in.

For the world population to keep growing we need each other. Men cannot give birth neither can women become pregnant without men. Be wise in dealing with each other.

“So God created a man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.” Genesis 1:27

Men are not devils also women are not demons. Each of us are here to fulfill the purpose of God for creating each gender.

“And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” Genesis 1:31

Please lets us respect one another. No one is greater and no one is lesser. GOD BLESS YOU

ONUIGWE CHIDI SIRNOEL… From OCTOBER 2013 YOUTHS MATTER

HOW TO OVERCOME INFERIORITY COMPLEX

Inferiority complex is not peculiar with a particular person. It is what all of us have felt one time or another so don’t think that you are the only one. The difference is that some of us have worked on ourselves and built our confidence to the extend it seems as if we are super humans. Nobody is a super human, don’t allow anyone to make you think that you are not up to, though you have a little work to do so that you too can overcome inferiority complex.

So my friend I know how embarrassing sometimes you feel when you and your friends go out to have a nice time. But when you look at yourself you think that you do not measure up or match up. However you find yourself remember that everybody is unique in the way God created him/her. Some people are always calm while some others may always be in high spirits; excitement.

Feeling inferior before your friends and other people will rob you your ability to perform. Optimum performance in every field happens when an individual knows his quality, then go ahead to manifest that quality without fear or favor.   

Well here few points that can help you to get out of inferiority complex.

TO OVERCOME YOU HAVE TO

1:  DETERMINE THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX. KNOW THE WHYS, AND WHATS:

Is it a bad child hood experience?  Is it inherited from either or both parents? Is it that parents or guardians never allowed you to express yourself?

Or is it because you have failed to grow up? Most people with inferiority complex or low self esteem are people that think like children. Children are self centered and selfish.

Or do you compare yourself with others?  Do you think that you are not rich enough, handsome, beautiful or tall enough? Or that you can’t speak good English or the prevailing language of the place you find yourself? Or educated enough or at all?

2: WHAT TO DO OR NOT TO DO:

a.       GROW UP: You have to grow up. Stop being a child. See yourself as a matured adult and position yourself as one.

b.      BUILD A POSITIVE ATTITUDE: Assure yourself further that you are good and worth much more than you always assumed.

c.       IMPROVE YOURSELF: If you can’t communicate very well in English or the prevailing language or dialect of where you are. Then give yourself more into learning it.  Try to upgrade yourself in all areas. In dressing if you don’t have much, train to keep the ones you have clean. If you want to buy, don’t go for the costly ones go for what you can afford that will be fitting to you.

d.      STOP COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS: No matter what happened do not compare yourself with others. Always know that you are unique and specially made by God.  If you keep comparing yourself with others you will feel a little lesser.  Especially people who you think that are more endowed physically more than you. 2 CORINTHIANS 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. “Do you think that you are not beautiful or handsome? The perception of beauty differs from person to person. You should not feel inferior if you are not good looking.  Your looks are special in a unique way. If you are gifted with large eyes, highlight it and watch your face glow with a new look. This is just an example and you should always look at yourself in a positive way.

e.      NEVER TRY TO IMPRESS: Be more result oriented than impression oriented. “It’s better to be relevant than to be liked” Many people fail to deliver appropriate results because people will say something or think something.

f.        STOP BEING PEOPLE CONSCIOUS:  Realize that people are too occupied to watch every move you make. Majority of the people you come across have their own issues to deal with and are busy figuring out how to deal with them. So to assume that the rest of the world are jeering at you while you are walking with your face down is wrong. Avoid friends or people that make you feel inferior. Stay away from those that run down yourself image. Make friend with those that will help build yourself image.  Those friends and people who make you to think that you are a nobody, stay away from them. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Avoid those that are always feeling inferior or those that are always negative minded. Look out for positive minded people, people who have to some extent has build up their self image and are confident about themselves.

You should know that others are just like yourself, with the same doubts and inhibitions. The successful ones are those who have won over their inhibitions and practiced self confidence so that it becomes a second nature with them. So practice self confidence and it will be yours for you to face the competitive world with boosted vigor. Self confidence is a magnet which draws success towards you.

Never feel you are a lesser person, because you are not. Interact with people, because people skill is another door which makes sure of your rise in your journey towards success.

g.       FINALLY: Do not feel let down when you see your friends flourishing financially, educationally, marital, etc. Even if your friends are in a high post or positions, don’t let your confidence

fail you.  Dear Come on, you too can do better. You have the capacity to do better than anyone else. It is just that you have to reconciled yourself to the fact that it is possible for you to fully make use of your potential.

h.      Develop you own special skill and watch success knocking at your door.

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

We all are born to make it in this life; however, it depends on how we look at our world of possibilities. That who has been able to make it made it because he saw possibility in the activity he found himself. Most of us do not see possibility in anything. But life experience has taught me that there are so much possibilities around all of us.

Anyone who does not see possibility in what he or she does has 2% of chances of making it. But that man or woman that sees possibility has 98% of making it. Use those that go into mountain race for example. Mountain race is the most tedious of all the races. Because the first thing that you hear is “mountain” the name alone should bring fear into anyone that runs it. But because that person has seen the possibility of becoming a champion he/she goes into the competition without fear.

Everyone that runs a race knows that he is not the only one on the race. In a global race both blacks and whites do run together. There is no colour, tribe, race or tongue demarcation here. Therefore, so it is in everything we do in this world. The colour of your skin does not matter. The language or place you were born does not matter. What matters is what you see and what you have chosen to become or the height you decided to attain.

For anyone to make a life, create a living and succeed here on earth that person must see his/her future so bright. Not minding the thick darkness that he/she is seeing now. You have to be positive enough to see the dim light that shines at the end of the tunnel. Do not allow the circumstances that are surrounding you to dictate for you. The thing that killed Esau of the Bible was that he allowed his present circumstance to cover his eyes and he made a grave mistake. So many young people have sold their future because they were not able to look up and straight to see that there is a light shining at the end of the tunnel. Just because the light was not bright enough does not mean that it will die off, no it won’t. The reason why the light is dim is because you are still a little far from it. As you get closer you will discover that the light is getting brighter.  Someone says, “I am not where I should be but I am not where I used to be, I have moved on and I am still moving on.” This is what everyone that runs mountain race say. This is the word that has kept so many of us going.

No matter what is going on in your life now. Look well, you will discover that you are not where you use to be. That though you are not soaring, running or leaping, that you are neither going back nor standing still. You are moving forward. Some of your mates have gotten what you are looking for, I know that. There are still some of your mates that have not gotten even the one you have. And to make the matter worst, some of your mates and friends those you have eaten and drank together with this year are dead already. They died with their dream, aspiration, intelligence and whatever God has deposited in them.

I can never forget these words of Dr. David Oyedepo, “the future you cannot picture, you cannot feature.” These words are amongst the words that God used to bring back to life in 2003 when I thought that the world was over for me. When things were so bad and hard that I don’t even know where my next meal would be coming from. Things were so bad that I even considered committing suicide. Thank God for teaching me the Bible very early in life. Thanks to my parents too who made me to get so close to Bible even when I was still a child. And to all those that taught me as child in children church of National Evangelical Mission Inc I say thank you all.

God took me on a journey and started talking to me from His words in the Bible. God took me to the book of Isaiah and began teaching me things that made me to see my future brighter & brighter. It didn’t happen in a day. This journey took about a year and two months (March 2003 to April 2004). After that time I have been climbing my mountains without pain. May be you are already on your journey with God, my friend do not faint. Keep on keeping on. God didn’t fail me and he won’t fail you. May be you are still confused because you don’t even know which is which. Do not be afraid God will direct you only if you allow Him to.

Listen to me your case is not the worst. There is no man without a serious challenge but how you handle it is the most important thing. How you handle your present situation is depending on what you are seeing now. If you see a brighter future God will help you get there. If you see a damned future the devil will help you get there…

Don’t forget that this is all a race of… there are possibilities everywhere…those that run mountain race see champion possibility not the mountain in front of them.

The question now is…what do you see?

LOVE IS A VERBWHAT IS LOVE?

WHAT IS LOVE?

Different people have different definition of love. I have tried not to dispute anytime I hear people define love. People define love from there angle of and their own understanding.

Love is like that proverbial Elephant which some blind men saw and they were all describing it from the point where they were standing or the part their hands were holding.

All of us have our own individual definition of love. Even little children have their own definition of love. There is something that if someone does to you, you will conclude that the person does not love you. This is how man is created by God. God created man with a very limited understanding of things. As a matter of fact, we learn more as we grow and get matured in the things of life and God. Experience teaches us things and people we meet also teach us too.

Let us explore a little more with Wikipedia’s Definition of Love. “Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". Love may also be described as actions towards others or oneself based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection”

“Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment.” Love is an emotion, a very strong affection. Affection means to care for someone. The fact is that you can’t love someone without getting attached to that person to a large extent. Anybody that we love becomes part of our lives consciously or unconsciously. We try as much as possible to protect the person even if the person is wrong. We must find a way or a word to justify the person’s mistakes or bad attitudes.

Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection." The unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.” Virtue is behavior that show high moral standard. And that is what love does. Love does not allow us to hurt another person. Love teaches us to pursue the good of others. Anytime we are in love with a person, we look for a way to always make them happy. Even if we offend them we still come back to ask forgiveness (sometime they are the people that actually love us).

LOVE AS EMOTION & FEELING

Many people get angry when they hear people define love as “having a strong feeling” or as “a strong emotional feeling.” But I don’t see why some will get angry at that, because in live there is a strong feeling of affection and also a strong emotional attachment. No husband can say he loves his wife without being emotionally attached to her. No mother can say she loves her child without having to feel what the child feels.

It is the love the wife has for her husband that makes her to want to have sex with him, likewise the husband. Anytime someone you love falls sick you will find out that you also will lose your health because you will be feeling for the person. Therefore, we can’t isolate “love” from “emotion and feeling” or let us call it emotional feeling.

Having said thus, there are so many other emotions and other things we feel: like anger, hunger, excitement, fear etc. So it is funny to me when someone says that “he/she cannot control his/her emotions.” People always say this when it comes to sexual issue. But I use to ask them “how many times have your father or mother made you angry and you slapped him/her?” My point is that feeling and emotions are meant to be controlled so they are still part of our love life.

LOVE IS A VERB

Love is not sex; love is not buying gifts for a sex mate. Love is something that is more than what we call it. Love is a “verb.” Verb is action. Verb is a word that expresses action. That means love is action and not theory. Love is not what one says when he wants to have a feel of the body of another (opposite sex). Love is what we do not just what we say. Mother Teresa said “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”  Love does not require us some great things but it requires us doing little things but with so much love attached on it.

VERB IS A SERVICE WORD…therefore LOVE IS SERVICE

Love is service. To love others is to serve them. Serving doesn’t make u less or a weak person. To love your nation is to serve her. To love your family is to serve her. To say that you love God is to serve God. So LOVE is SERVICE. The level of love we have for one another is measured by the service we are able to render to each other.

Even Jesus Christ told Peter “if you love me keep my commandment.” Keeping someone’s commandment is a sign of how important that person is to you. Obeying someone is serving the person. Serving and meeting the persons need.

Therefore LOVE is SERVICE. Nicholas Sparks wrote, “I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul and to me, this has always been enough.”  So it is not about how special one is but how loving one is.

Service brings u to a place of authority. People tend to love us more when we serve them. Because when we serve them, we show them how special they are. Another thing is serving makes one to learn beyond his knowledge. And knowledge we all know is power. Knowledge elevates us to a higher place of authority.

LOVE IS COLORFUL

Anytime we take love into anybody’s life the person laughs more, smiles more and even works more. Love always looks like a rainbow. Love has no particular color, however wherever love appears brightness comes upon everyone around.

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.”  William Shakespeare. This why when someone that you love hurts you, you don’t feel like given up on the person. When someone you love starts to misbehave in the society you don’t feel like given up. Sometimes when someone that you love is not meeting up with life’s standard you keep telling yourself that you know that one day he will make it. As Albert Schweitzer puts it, “the true worth of a man is not to be found in man himself, but in the colours and textures that come alive in others.” Love is colorful. Your worth is not how many cars or houses you were able to build at your life time. Your worth is not about how many designer shirts, trousers, shoes, wrist watch, etc that you have.

Your worth is measured by how many lives you were able to touch in your life time. Jesus Christ never owned mansions here on earth, but He worth more than any other living or dead man. Show someone some love always. Make someone happy. Mother Teresa is not been celebrated because of houses or cars she build or bought. But because of how many lives she touched with love when she was here on earth. Anytime you show someone some love you are adding more colour to the person’s life. Solve someone’s challenges. Add colour to a life today.

JESUS CHRIST coloured the world with his love and His Love was attached to HIS BLOOD. Jesus Christ was able to prove the love He has for humans not just by coming down from heaven but by colouring it with His blood. Every drop of blood that gushed out of His body was a sign of the love He has for we human. It is that BLODD that is speaking better thing more than the blood of Abel. Remember that Abel’s blood was shouting “vengeance” will Jesus Christ’s BLOOD is shouting “forgiveness.”

Visit the motherless, the poor and needy ones. Tell someone about the love JESUS CHRIST showed on the cross when HE died for us. Show love to your parents and family members. Show love to our country by serving in the field where u work. Pray for your Pastors, Revd Fathers, Shepherds, Priests and other Church leaders. Pray for your President, Governors, LGA Chairmen, Senators, House Rep members, etc. That is LOVE in action. I love you… see you as we colour our world together WITH LOVE…

LOVE IS A VERB.

Finally, if Jesus Blood has not added colour to your life just make this short prayer: LORD JESUS, THANK YOU FOR DYING ON THE CROSS FOR MY SINS. THANK YOU FOR TAKING AWAY MY SINS AND SORROWS. COME INTO MY LIFE AND BE MY GOD AND THE LORD OF MY LIFE. I CONFESS ALL MY SINS. AND I PROMISE NOT TO CONSCIOUSLY GO BACK TO SIN, GIVE ME YOUR HOLY SPIRIT, TO GUIDE AND DIRECT ME. THANK YOU LORD FOR HEARING MY PRAYERS… AMEN.

Friend that has made this prayer… welcome as JESUS CHRIST”S LOVE colours your world with HIS BLOOD. Stay Painted with the BLOOD.

You can always speak to SIRNOEL… follow me on twitter. My handle is @chigold101 visit myblog for more interesting reading http://mindsetshift.blogspot.com