SEXUAL BONDING (LOVE RACE 3)

So many lies are being peddled in and around us today. Most of these lies come from Writers, Columnist, Hosts and Hostesses of talk shows or phone-in programs on our Television and Radio Stations and on Air-Personalities. Most (not all) of the mid-night phone-in programs are designed to ruin the character and integrity of my generation (youths). Moreover those hosting these programs always make it look as if you don’t have a sex-partner that you are from the Stone Age. Trust the young people of today: look around you, you will see every one of them (except for the wise few) scrambling to belong (to get a sex partner). This is an error that needs to be corrected. But unfortunately those that are supposed to make the correction are neck deep into the show.

Well, in this piece of writing we are going to talk about SEXUAL BONDING (some people call it SOUL TIE). Bonding means, the process of forming a special relationship with somebody. Bonding here as you can note has gone beyond “Ordinary” relationship to a “special” relationship. Every one of us both the old and the young is yarning for this “Special” kind of relationship. We all need to be bonded to someone specially (not sexually) because humans are created by God to live interdependently. Because we all need a special kind of relationship some people are taking advantage of others and get them bonded to them sexually. To me sexual bonding is as bad as being in sexual bondage. Oh! Don’t look at me like that.

Sexual bonding which leads to sexual bondage occurs immediately there’s sexual intimacy between a man and a woman that are not legally married. This happens once there is exchange of blood between a man and woman through sexual penetration. Even if you use condom you will still be sexually bonded to your sin partner. I will like you to know that this case is more on women than on men because bonding for a man is totally different from that of a woman. However, bonding is the tiny line that holds every relationship together (both healthy and unhealthy relationship).

For any relationship to stand there must be a bonding. Being it business or family relationship; bonding is highly needed.

You must know that, “a man is not bonded to a woman through sexual intercourse” but through what he has spent (he is spending) it may be energy, time, money or material thing.” In Genesis 3:16b God said to the woman: “yet your urge shall be for your husband, and he shall be your master.” This means that the woman will be always desire the man that made her love to her. You know that there is no room for sex outside marriage in God. A man can forget the ladies or girls he has had sex with, but no woman can forget the men that has had sex with her; because God created men to rule the sexual consciousness of women. For a woman hearing the name or the voice of your ex makes her heart run a little faster.

This is so because God created men and women with so many “major” differences. But the unfortunate thing today is that my “sisters” of today tend to think that men and women are the same. Honey, men and women are far and wide apart when it comes to anything that concerns sex. A woman gets bonded through sex. A man can beat and almost kill a girl and she would not quit the relationship because she has given him all when she gave him her body.

 Now a man gets mad when after spending on a woman without getting sex. He goes about ranting and telling everybody that cares to listen that after all that I deed for this lady she still have the audacity to leave me. I will kill her in this town; in short this city will not contain both of us. Some men will even go to the extent of planning rape to make sure they take their own pound of the flesh. The man is mad and angry because he has bonded with the girl with the things he has spent. He has spent his time building the said lady or he has spent his money or may be even his energy. So he will use any trick necessary to get back to the lady or girl. Some lady will think that all the ranting and begging a man is “throwing” at her is because of the strong love he has for her; my dear it is not.

If a man really loves you, he should wait for the right time and the only right time I know is once you have said “I do,” “till death do us path”. So anytime a guy and a girl break up; the guy comes back begging and telling you how he has missed you, he is not missing you in actual sense he is missing the sexual comfort he had been getting from you. In every sexual relationship the woman pays higher price.

I shall stop here but not before telling you that even if you have messed up yourself; there is still hope for you. Don’t condemn yourself because God has not condemned you. God loves you more than everybody on this earth put together He cares so much about you. If you can surrender yourself and your priorities to Him, I tell you, He will cleanse you and make all thing right. The blood that cleansed me and set my priorities right is still very much available and it can also do the same to you, but you need to ask Jesus Christ to come into your life and take control.

Let me drop my biro by saying this: “never you try to clean the dirty waters of yesterday from your life, let it never bother you how you will make it tomorrow but try in all you can do to make today clean enough because today is the only day you have.”

Sweet Heart I love you with all my heart see you on LOVE RACE 4

AFTER THOUGHT

Any Man (even dogs too) can have an immediate attraction for your beauty and sexy nature, however you can’t earn any man’s respect and love because you are beautiful or sexy. Stop deceiving yourself or being deceived by false glamour you see from some so called role models (Actors & Actresses) or from Television and Bill Board Adverts. A man will only give you your full respect because there’s something upstairs (in your brain). I have always respected wise girls. Throughout my years of “vanity” I never joked with girls that are wise. Wise girls don’t open their legs they open their mouth not to gossip but to talk sense into a man. The value a man places on a woman is dependent on how she values herself. Many girls value themselves as sex objects and that is how guys see them. So my love! Be wise. Don't wait until you make mistake; you can learn from others experiences. If you have strayed don’t condemn yourself. The power to stop and retrain your steps now is there with you: it is all about decision.

SUGGESTION

1.         Any person that makes you to do what you don’t want avoid him/her

2.         Those friends of yours that think and talk only about boys, girls and sex avoid them.

3.         Get new friends that can build you emotionally intellectually and spiritually.

4.         Contact MSS Consult we can really be of help to you.

I know that there is nothing I have written here that you’ve not heard before. Your parents, teachers or even books must have let you into knowledge of these things but the only difference this one will make is totally dependent on you. If you want it to work and help you, you must start now; I mean now to do what it suggests to you. I love you with all my heart.

LOVE FROM SIRNOEL

NEVER STOP COUNTING YOUR BLESSING THIS YEAR.-

On  Sunday 30^th day of December 2012, my eyes were opened by His Lordship Rt. Rev (Dr.) Onuigwe Chukwuemeka Dominic (Bishop of National Evang Mission Inc.) when he was speaking on appreciation. The Power of Appreciation. Since then I have been pondering over this portion of SS&S. SS&S745 this is actually his main reading text.

Friends let us take a little time to look at 2012 that is just passed. Think about the ups and downs of 2012. Think about those times when the storm of life came upon you. When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost. After all said and done you are still standing so all you can do now is to Count your many blessings name them one by one. And if you count your blessings one by one, it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Now 2013 is here. We all waited and prayed for it to come. Are you ever burdened with a load of care this 2013? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear this year? Never mind: just count your many blessings of 2012 and other past years I promise you every doubt will fly. And you will be singing as the days go by. With every hour that passes your mouth will be full of songs of praise.

When you look at others with their lands and gold: those that made it big in 2012. Remember  that Christ has promised you His wealth untold. What Christ has promised you this 2013 is beyond your dream and imaginations. All Count your many blessings, money cannot buy. Count the blessings of life. You are still breathing. The Bible says “a living dog is better than a dead lion.” Don’t forget your reward in heaven, never forget your Lord on high.

So amid the conflict that will come to you this 2013, whether great or small. Do not be discouraged, because God is over all. He is God over all and every situation & condition. Please all count your many blessings and angels will attend to the needs you may have. Please do not forget that help and comfort God will give you to your journey’s end.

Friends after all said and done you shall still be standing; therefore all you can do is to Count your many blessings by the end of 2013. Remember to name them one by one. And if you count your blessings one by one, it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

YOU ARE THE CHAMPION… believe me… Welcome to the YEAR OF REWARD

LOVE AND SEX (THE LOVE RACE 2)

Love and Sex do you think they go together? This was a question posed to my readers in one of my publications. To some of the readers of my bulletin, they believe that they walk hand in hand and yet to others they say that they are two different ball games. Well in this post I will try to face the facts and the truths that surround this matter squarely, based on my finding and personal discoveries and experience. You are very much welcome to this roller coaster ride called THE LOVE RACE 2.

           

I will try to be very brief in what I am about to write, but I will be glad if you will keep what you will get from it very well in your memory.

           

Love & sex do not go together when people are not yet married. Love & Sex are two separate issues when people are still singles. Love & sex can’t be separated when people are married. Love & Sex become one word when couple has said the words “I do,” “till death do us part.”

           

Sexual intercourse is sacred and it is reserved only for married couples. Sex between married couple is fulfilling God’s divine plan and purpose for marital companionship. Sex in marriage is a way of living within the marriage circle. It is an everlasting obligation and not a sign of love. It is not a proof that you love your spouse. God designed sexual intercourse just for the two people who are duly married. Sexual satisfaction has nothing to do with two people who have not taken the oath or marital vow. If by omission or commission someone marries who he/she does not love he/she have to stick to him/her, until death comes in between to separate them. And if you are married to someone who because of sickness, age or accident lost his/her sexual potency...the bitter truth is that you must stick to him/her, and never to seek sexual satisfaction outside your matrimonial home. If you do seek it outside your home then you have committed the sin of adultery. The sin of adultery is a punishable offence.

           

Some people may be shocked to learn that sexual intercourse was God’s idea. He wove the sexual dimension of our personality into the very fibre of our beings. We are sexual beings in every way. Sexual attraction is no accident. God made a helpmeet for Adam in His lonely state long before there was ever any mention of procreation (Genesis 2:18, 20-23). Marital companionship and sexual union were all God’s plan when He created humans. God did it that way to end man’s isolation with incredible joy. Don’t forget that this is for those who are legally married and not for live-in lovers.

The word Love & Sex always get mixed up in the life of unmarried couple. Honey, listen to me: you don’t have to prove to a man that you love him by giving in to his sexual advances. Many ladies and girls (single) out there believe that they can only make the men in their lives see the proof of their love by giving him sex. Sexual compatibility is never a sign of strong love between you and your “Date.” I discovered that the major reason why some relationships that looked so good got broken is because of pre-marital sex. It has been over said and over written “you can’t trap a man down with sex.”

God, morality and even religion is against pre-marital sex. But our dress codes, Romance novels, Music Videos, Hollywood & Nollywood films seem to be promoting and encouraging it with reckless abandon. I think every parent should be careful with the content of the book, music video, or movies his/her children/wards are occupying their spare times with.

           

Let me say this especially to unmarried girls and round up this topic. What many girls do not know is that most guys are experimenting with each relationship they get involved in. Baby believe me, I am very sorry for you if you are having sex with the guy you are moving with right now because to some of you that is the greatest mistake you have ever made.

           

Before you call me a bluff; don’t forget that I am a guy, and I was never born an angel. Now what if that guy in your life is experimenting? What if he thinks that you are no more good enough for him? What pride do you have left? You know you can’t compete with a man when it comes to that because (1) a man is not bonded to a woman because of sexual intercourse, (2) a man does not respond to a woman’s sexual desire because of Love but because of pride (e.g. He’ll say, if I don’t do it with her another guy will do it with her or if I don’t do it with her she will call me a “mugu”). (3) no amount of sexual commitment you give to a guy will make him love you more than he already does (i.e. if he loves you at all), and finally (4) a man does not come back to you after having sex with you because he loves you, he comes back to you because you are now a prey or (one of) his conquest.

I will be a liar to say that all guys will leave the girl they have had sex with. Not all guys do that. A guy who really loves his girl will stick to her even if they are having sex every day. Again it is not all guys who ask you for sex have bad intention in their heart. Some asks for sex because (1) that is what he feels, and just wants to bond with you. He wants to bond with you sexually so that he wouldn’t fall for another girl. (2) Some want to have sex with you because he can see through your eyes that you really need it. He doesn’t want to starve you of the satisfaction that comes with sexual intercourse. He doesn’t want to hurt you.

There are some guys who will really shower you love and affection even after making love to you. There are some guys who will always be there for you after having tasted your sweetness. There are some guys who will never let you go or even hurt you after you have gone all the way with them. There are girls today that are married to the guys that were their boyfriend for a very long time, and they were having sex as many times as they want: and right now they are enjoying their marriage. So I cannot tell you that if you have sex with a man he must hate you. It is not absolute truth. Even some people reading this write up have and are enjoying their relationship with their sex partner. However, the chances of meeting this “good guy” is so slim. It is about 3%. This is the reason why we have so many people crying and heaping abusive words on ‘love’ than those who actually talk good of ‘love.’ This is the singular reason why we have more girls with a “my heart was broken” record than those without it.

One thing is that sex is an avoidable activity in a marriage world. One sign of maturity is “self control.” Don’t get involved because all your friends are already in it. Most of your friends that are in it are hiding their exact relationship estate. Some of your friends and people around you that are into sexual relationship want you to see the sugar coated part of it so that you will come in and have a taste of the bitter side of it.

Don’t forget this… having sex does not make you a big boy or a big girl. The truth is that in most cases it makes you a weeping girl or a fearing guy. It leaves you with red eyes, hurting heart and painful stories that comes after a heart break. Most times it leaves agony instead honey in your life’s LOVE RACE.

Finally, love and sex are not brothers and sisters. You can love without getting involved sexually and you can also have sex with a person without even thinking about love. If you doubt me ask those who have at one time or the other get involved in what is called “one night stand” or ask those who visit prostitutes. What of those who get you a job or do you some favour by sleeping with you. You can truly love without ever thinking sex. And you can be sexually compatible without ever been in love. Having sex is not a sin but having sex outside marriage is a huge sin before God and human beings.

If you have made this mistake you can stop it right now. Don’t tell me you can’t, Baby you can. If you don’t know how, seek counseling from someone who can give you good counsel (Proverbs 11:14).

Friends don’t ever think that sexual intercourse is a sign of love… see you next week… I love you still

           

FOLLOW ME ON A LOVE RACE

What do you think about “Love”? Or should I say what about the common experience people call “Love”? Is love combination of what looks good to the eye and makes the heart race? Doesn’t everyone experience the same euphoric feelings when they (fall) are in love? The first time you (you think) are in love how great was (is) your feelings? Oh!, I know that I may probably be reminding you about the first time you (fall) are in love. Your heart skipped whenever he/she was around or whenever you heard (hear) his/her voice. Anytime you perceive the aroma of his/her perfume that butterfly feelings makes your head to swell. Oh! What-sha-ma-I-say? Sometimes Sirnoel can be a little controversial. Please just follow me as I flow…

           

Friend if physical reactions accurately define love; why are there so many divorces today? Sky-high divorce rate and brake up in relationships strongly indicates there must be more to love than natural short-lived emotional reactions. People have kept on failings in and out of love. Why? Because they have never really told “themselves” the truth. From my teen age I have always hated the word “Fall-in-love.” I discovered that people who always fall in love never take time before they fall-out-of love again.

           

I am very frustrated with the abuse heaped on the word “Love”. It is manipulated by the media (movies, soft sale magazines, Books on fictions) and use sloppily by nearly everyone else. Well I am not a follower of Cupid (Roman god of love) but I want to try in my own best way to set the record straight. (Someone would ask which record?) Funny Sirnoel…lol

           

Most “Lovers” have the chemistry thing working for them but they seldom remain together long enough to explore more into each others life. It would interest you to note here that I didn’t try to define love. I think I should live that for another day. Though I didn’t define love here as you already know, however, let me tell you the things love does and what love won’t do. Please remember that there’s nothing like TRUE LOVE or FALSE LOVE. Love is Love. (Anyway this is my own opinion, you can argue it; so don’t swallow it hook, line and sinker).

Before I round up this piece, you have to know that: (1) Love does not and can’t hurt. It is lack of love that hurts. (2) Love cannot be used to manipulate, if one person is manipulating another, then that’s lack of love. (3) People do not stay in abusive relationship because of love. They stay because they are scared, they believe they don’t have options or they have low self-esteem. (4) The power of love is always giving, expansive, joyful and creative. It is impossible to twist love into a negative purpose. Romans 13:10 says “Love does no harm to a neighbor.”

Therefore, don’t blame love for the problems you are having in your relationships (Marriage & Courtship).

The root of our (human) problems, all of our problem is lack of love. You may hardily believe this, but it is true. War is not about territory or resources or power or control, but war is of fear, and fear is a product of lack of love. My good friend, build your love, stray out of the line of fear and manipulation. Well...

Wait for me next week as we run a LOVE RACE.